nut hugger
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
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