while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
