you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
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