no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
