what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
Randomize
