the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
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Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
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Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
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