Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
Randomize
