Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
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