I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
