Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
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