That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
