Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
