After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
