remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
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