Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
Randomize
