She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
Randomize
