I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
