That's intense
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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