so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
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Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
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Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
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