I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
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