I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
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