I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
