yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
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Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
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Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
I'm too high and old for this...
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
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