are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
Randomize
