You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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