so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
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