I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
Randomize