I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
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