it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
Randomize