on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
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