He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
