Apparently you make a good broom.
the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
Randomize