Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Randomize