i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
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