i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
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