I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Randomize
