hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
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