he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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