Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
Randomize
