New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
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