I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
Randomize