It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
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