Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
Randomize