everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
Randomize