dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
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