hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Randomize
