am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
Randomize
