it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
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