I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
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