You work out of a Hotel?
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
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