NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
Last time i carry you out of a forest
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
