someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
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