Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
Randomize
