he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Randomize