no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
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and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
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Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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