batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
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