god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
My breasts were aching with rage.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
