He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
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