The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
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